Parent

Today is one of those days which are especially hard. Like Mothers Day, today would have involved Gina in some way; even if it was just a telephone call. But Today the phone didn't ring. There was no Father's Day card waiting on the doormat.

Anyone who thinks they can imagine how it feels to lose a child, is wrong. We spent months knowing this would happen, or at least that it was possible. In all that time, we knew it would be awful, but completely failed to prepare ourselves. That was partly because we were focused on each day and doing everything we could for our daughter. But still, we couldn't have known how gut wrenching bereft we would be as 2025 dawned or how that would fail to fade after almost half a year. We didn't realise how dismal and depressing almost everything would seem... or how hard it would be to find joy in anything; even things which should bring it in abundance. We didn't realise that we'd have to pretend to be OK to people, but worry about how we would be judged if we smiled or laughed in a distracted moment.

We had no idea.