Band

Apart from family and work, over the last several years, another constant in my life has been "the band". It's been more than just a passtime; it's provided a social focus and a group of friends that I've enjoyed spend time with. My absence last year and the closing of the place where two of us worked - and where we rehearsed  every week, spelled the end for it. Since the beginning of 2025 there has been talk of one last "social"; something we had done a couple of times a year, where the group have an afternoon of beer-drinking and an Indian meal.

I thought that by now I'd be ready for this, but have found myself wanting to pull-out. I've written before about how difficult it is to allow ourselves to do anything enjoyable. This feels like that but "turned up to 11". I know that after a couple of beers I'll relax and everything will be like it was before... but when I sober up the guilt and regret will kick in.

I've been persuaded that I shouldn't cancel, but I've decided to joini the group late so it won't be a "heavy session". I know it's the right thing to do. We need to get out there and live, but it's still so hard.