Things Gina would have...

Mothers Day is another difficult time of year, for a mother without her daughter. It seems cruel that as everyone else celebrates, visits, sends flowers, Gina's mother is having to see al that happening publicly on Facebook etc, while having to cope with the fact that there will be no new card from her daughter. No phone call.  This year, as last, Gina's last Mothers Day card is proudly displayed again. A reminder, if one were needed, of what we've lost.

Now that it's more than a year since we lost Gina, people might expect it to get easier - the first anniversary has gone, the first Christmas has been avoided. The problem is (as Gina used to say), that's not how it works.  The fact that it's now over a year means that we no longer have the "this time last year" moments to look back on. They somehow helped, and there's a feeling that we slowly forget the last year we had with Gina. Even though much of it was awful, there were brighter moments and at least a sense of purpose. As that fades into the past, it feels like we're losing more of her. Hanging onto memories id not easy; perhaps not possible.